I’m gonna fly
I knew visiting Ocean Beach and San Bruno Mountains the other day would set off a chain reaction in my life.
Every time before I leave for a trip I visit these 2 spots.
I visit the beach because I think about how far I can go and will I ever reach another beach across the world that these waters hit. And whenever I visit a beach far from my home I always think back to my last thoughts at Ocean Beach. and it makes me miss home.
I visit the mountain because that’s my real life version of the Giving Tree. I live at the bottom of San Bruno Mountain and i’ve always felt like she watches over me. She’s a constant in my life. A constant at my hometown. She makes me feel grounded and at the same time makes me feel like I can fly as high as I want. And when I come back home, she’ll be there for me.
I visited these 2 spots with hope in my heart and a ton of blank pages on my 2012 calendar. I want to fly. Very far away, and very fast. I love my home. I love the Bay. But right now, i’m not home here. I love being home in the bay. Being with my family and seeing my closest dance community. But I miss who I am when i’m in exploratory mode.
So i’m going to fly. I’ll fly far and wide just to experience something new. To discover parts of myself I never knew existed. To find courage in places unbeknownst to me. To develop confidence for my next goal.
I’ve got something to chase. Something to seek. and when I find that..something to keep?
I thought I was searching far and wide to be understood and appreciated. I am, but with the wrong kinds of expectations. Actually that’s what the problem was all on it’s own: My expectations. I’ve to detach myself from them. I’m going to refocus my energy inwards and let the world continue it’s own flow. I’ve no say in anyone’s life but my own right now. So while i’m young, while i’m free; I’ll fly. That’s my responsibility. To live and experience MY story. I’ll fight to the death to preserve the magic that is my story. Because in my story lies my dreams of attainment and the journey of finding the strength that guides me there.
This is my story. and while one chapter finishes up a new one is just beginning. This next chapter of my life is already exciting. I’ve no expectations. Just a goal.
GOAL: Germany in November 2012. Funkin Stylez. I will enter Locking and Me Against The Music.
and if anyone would accept me, I want to do the World Battle. But i’ll do what I can do find the confidence the maintain the solo circuits.
So i’m back on the grind. Training. Drilling. Meditating. I’m going to repeat something from 2010 and keep it up indefinitely:
I’m going to shut up and stop thinking. Instead I’m just going to listen and feel.
My first stop is Japan, Osaka.
And so I fly. I can touch the moon no problem. Because my next goal has to do with briefly being among the stars.
